Slamming Caffeine

Don't let anything get in the way of your view.

Seriously, if you have a driver's license, you know that there is nothing more annoying than some huge flat nasty bug on your windshield. It's annoying, it's gross and it can actually be a hazard. A dead bug can be an obstruction to seeing the road ahead clearly.

Most of us get so, forgive the pun, but "bugged" by the mess that we find the nearest gas station and sponge the junk off.

So why do we hold onto the bugs that block the windshield of life?

If you love a great cup of coffee, that you'll appreciate my heaven on earth scene...rain softly coming down, a city by the ocean (Seattle, San Francisco, Carmel..you get the picture), friendly baristas, fragrant beans roasting pleasantly, fresh roasted coffee just waiting to be ground into most benevolent of brews....Huge comfy chairs, once-read newspapers left behind, the sound of quiet conversations in the background with the occasional excitement of reunited friends...the aroma of fresh baked pastries...traffic bustling outside with cars and people and dogs and bread trucks.

See? I literally get lulled into this fantasy land when I think about coffee. I lose all grasp of reality.

Here's the flip side of that beautiful moment: Imagine being introduced to a certain type of instant coffee that tastes better than fresh brewed coffee and waking up early in the morning in eager anticipation of being able to act as your own barista in your own home. No more drive-thru lines, no more $5 lattes.

NIRVANA.


The only problem with this picture is that in my case I have a very sensitive gut and what with my in-home access to my favorite beverage, I consumed far too much of the stuff. Soon, I was doubled over in pain (it seriously felt like the insides of my esophagus and stomach were being ripped apart with a razor). The nutty part? I was (for a couple of weeks anyway) willing to sacrifice comfort for more of my golden brown elixir, until finally I couldn't take it anymore.

I begged God for help.

"Help me, God. No more, I can't take it anymore. I'm clearly insane. This stuff has become like heroin to me and I can't put it down." (What the heck? Seriously, what is WRONG with me?)

God answered my prayer and QUICK. No hangovers, no headaches...the very next day it was like He had wrapped me in soft, puffy clouds and gave me clarity to see. I had peace and appreciation for all that was around me. The pink cherry blossoms, the green green grass, my son's beautiful smile. It occurred to me that I had been in self will.

That would be the exact opposite of God's will.

It's been a few days now and I occasionally find myself having an internal battle about whether or not I could maybe just maybe have a traditional Starbucks latte because after all, I'm so tired and could really use that kickstart. The thing is that so far (cause trust me, I'm praying in between those crazy thoughts) I don't want to trade in a "jump" for the peace and joy and serenity that I've found.

It may seem stupid to be addicted to coffee, but some of us seem to have that kind of personality. Whether it's Facebook or the Housewives franchise or gossip or alcohol or coffee, some of us have the propensity that act like that bug on a windshield--we are splat up against the very thing that it keeping us from seeing what God wants to see--that our life is good and beautiful and enough.

We cling to the things that dirty up our windshield. We can't see clearly, we have an obstacle to get around but yet we are hesitant to stop by the gas station to clean it up.

And the real zinger? It's only after we've cleaned up the mess that we see what we've been missing.