...then you've probably been through hell. You've watched your mom or dad slur their words, stumble around and come in late or not at all. You've probably been the target of verbal, physical, emotional and possibly even sexual abuse. If your parent has been drinking or doing drugs, you've probably been neglected in every way possible.
And maybe now mom or dad is sober and things at home are changing for the better but you're still hurt. You're used to hanging out with your friends all night, doing whatever you please and having no accountability, right? Suddenly mom and dad have rules and boundaries. Or maybe it's the opposite and you've noticed that the way they act in church isn't the way they act at home.
So now what? Maybe you've been smoking weed with your friends or sneaking some of your parents' liquor and your parents want you to clean up your act. Part of you loves your new home life, but another part of you resents the fact that all of sudden rules are a part of the game.
Look at this like an opportunity; an open door to new possibilities. Ask your sober parent to help you get signed up for Christian counseling, to give you a ride to attend free alateen meetings and to start work on college applications. Write them a letter letting them know what it was like to be in their care and suggest ways to mend the ties. If you're confused about where to start, spend a few minutes in prayer asking God for direction.
I'm not trying to sugar coat the pain that you've endured or the anger and resentment that you may still feel. There is a process to healing and a responsible mentor, pastor, youth leader, teacher or sponsor can help guide you through the steps to wholeness. Be encouraged! It can be done--healing can happen with your cooperation.
Gently remind your newly sober parent that recovery will take time for the entire family to achieve. Let them know that even though a part of you is resistant to change, a bigger part of you wants to be a part of a sober, happy family.
Seek out people to encourage you in your new life as part of a safe, sober household--people who want the absolute best for you and will help you to identify and achieve your dreams. Find who people who are strong in the Lord who will remind you that God created you, that He loves you and that He has great plans for your life.
Oh, and if your parents are still acting the fool at home behind closed doors, don't let that stop you from becoming the star that you were meant to be.
Instead of wasting your time and energy pointing out their faults and shortcomings, make a list of twenty dreams and goals that you have. Hide your list or put it up for all to see and trust God to fulfill them.
Say out loud, based on Isaiah 40:31:
I will trust in the Lord, and I will renew my strength; I will soar on wings like eagles, I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not faint.
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